*note: this was written while I was on my last leg in Sydney and after thinking a lot about my life back home, my life at the current moment and things that my friends have been talking to me about with respect to their changing life situations.
Reading philosophical books while travelling can be a godsend or the worst possible choice a person can make. For me, it’s the former since I have been able to think about my life and where it is heading and not have to worry about any of my obligations back home.
During this trip I read The Witch of Portobello (I am in love with this book!) and realized that in order to be happy we sometimes need to sacrifice a world we created, and if there is anyone out there who is an expert on letting go of something that they built, it’s me. Not saying that I am the guru since I am also human and my timing or logical reasoning can be off, but I am familiar with the process of creating a certain life, path direction (whatever you choose to call it) and then realizing that that part of your life no longer works for you.
Sometimes we all deny that small little voice inside of us that tells us when to leave the universe we built because we have put so much of our effort, love, time and passion into it and if we let go of it then it will feel like we are losing what we created and a failure to keep it going.
My thoughts are, what if all that time, effort love and passion wasn’t a waste of time or energy but rather an experience to grow from and something that will help us with the next phase of our lives?
We don’t want to realize that sometimes that the path we are on is longer working in our favour since we don’t want to lose something that is already a part of our lives. I’ll admit that I have denied that part of me that knows it’s time to let go but refused since I was comfortable and happy where I was; in reality I wasn’t happy but settling for what I knew and the comfort it provided since I was afraid of the unknown.
Being afraid and unclear about the future is extremely scary and difficult to comprehend especially when your not ready to face the situation(s) at hand; in fact it’s completely normal and anyone who tells you otherwise are full of shit!
But once you recognize that the path you created for yourself no longer works and once you deal with it, there is a sense of liberation, freedom and excitement that comes with it; a sense that you are once again in control of your life and the direction you want for yourself.
Recently I have let go of various paths and since letting go I have found myself to be more open to opportunities, excited about the little things in life, and realized the abundance of love that I have in my life. I have started to listen to the little voice and realized that I can be happier in life if I just listen to my gut instincts a little bit more.
You may not be ready to face your reality of letting go of a path, but once you stop denying that voice, real happiness fills your heart, and that’s when life starts becoming real, again.
Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah
*written on April 7, 2011