I feel as though I have hit a plateau in my life. It’s such a silly thing to say since I have been back from my trip only 8 weeks now, I secured myself a job, I found a guy who treats me better than I ever thought, and I’m spending time on the things that make me happy in my life. From the outside I have it pretty damn good!
But I feel as though my life is lacking on so many levels. The days go by with a sense of comfort and routine, the excitement of exploring the city leaves me bored, and I’m losing interest in what used to keep me preoccupied before.
After moments of pondering what it is that is absent in my life, I realized that I am not challenging myself the way that I need to be challenged. Everyday provoked a new test for me while I was away, and if the day didn’t present itself with a challenge I would find myself venturing into new territories of the city and of myself that I always wondered about but never really took the time to explore.
Being back home has provided me with the comfort that I missed and the support I need to continue with my journey; but I’m experiencing a certain, all too familiar feeling of comfort and support; the kind where you can be yourself and no one else, and everyone accepts you for who you are and no one pushes you beyond your limits. It’s a kind of comfort that makes you feel safe.
But you can’t be the best person you can be if you playing safe all the time. You need to –and when I say you, I mean you but I am also really referring to me here – expand your horizons, push your boundaries and explore the many ways of seeing the world. You need to defy your inner self just a little to really understand your perspective and stance on life, love, and the other miscellaneous things that the universe throws at you.
I have always left myself open to all opportunities and possibilities that the universe provides me, which has lead to some amazing experiences and people, and now I need to be fully open to what life has to offer me.
Being safe helps with the transition process of accepting your new limits while toying with the idea of new boundaries that ought to be pushed but now it’s time to move forward and continue with my process.
I refuse to let myself stay in a safe place longer than I need to just because I feel comfortable; and I encourage new things/ideas to enter my life without judgment. I feel as though my life at this moment is a clean palate and through this experience I am ready for something really beautiful to happen.
*written on June 17, 2011